Latest Podcast: So, About That Time I Advised Child Stars Who Aspire to Act into Adulthood to Grow Up Hot…

Apparently, I was right!

Which isn’t at all a good thing for humanity.

The latest Former Child Star Central podcast  explains it all, except for the puzzling part about why Mae Whitman isn’t considered hot enough for the hot police. Or apparently the makers of the upcoming Independence Day sequel, either.

Now on iTunes, too!

 

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Have You Seen (the End of) “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” Yet?

No? Then don’t read my interview with He Who Cannot Be Named Because Comic-Book Geeks Will Know Exactly Why I Interviewed This Gentleman About (the End of) The Amazing Spider-Man 2. (For Yahoo!)

4 Things That Were Wrong About Miley Cyrus’ VMAs Performance, the Outraged Interwebs Says

1. It’s wrong to be a stripper
2. It’s wrong to promote sex.
3. It’s wrong to stick out your tongue in a manner that makes us think of strippers and/or sex.
4. Above all, it’s wrong to not be a 14-year-old Disney Channel star forever.

I’ve said it before: My bet is that the worst thing about being a child star is that you’re Little Sally and the world is Grandma Ethel—no matter what you do, no matter what you become, Grandma Ethel is there, with all your baby pictures burned into her brain, to insist that you always will be (and always should be) Little Sally.

Suffice it to say, Grandma Ethel is disappointed in her Little Miley today. (And here’s hoping Little Miley is disappointed in Grandma Ethel—that old lady needs to get with it.)

Who Said It: Kirk Cameron or Anita Bryant?

In the spirit of the mystery-quote meme, who said what about gays and gay rights: Kirk Cameron or Anita Bryant?

1. “I have never had any hate in my heart for any of them as individuals.”
2. “I think it is is my life’s mission to love all people.”
3. “Homosexuality is immoral and against God’s wishes.”
4. “In any society that is governed by the rule of law, some form of morality is always imposed.”
5. “The Bible clearly says homosexuality is an abomination.”
6. “If homosexuality were the normal way God would have made Adam and Bruce.”
7. “Marriage is old as dirt, and it was defined in the Garden between Adam and Eve.”
8. “I think that it’s [homosexuality] is unnatural.”
9. “I think that it’s [homosexuality] is detrimental.”
10. “I should be able to express moral views on social issues…without being slandered.”
11. “When God calls you to do something, and when it’s put upon you in such a way that you’re boxed in, it has to be.”
12. “There’s nothing like the love between a woman and a man.”

Answer key:

1. Bryant, at National Religious Broadcasters Association Convention, 1978.
2. Cameron, on his Facebook page, 2012.
3. Bryant, quoted in The Advocate, 1977.
4. Cameron, Ibid.
5. Bryant, quoted in Time, 1977.
6. Bryant, quoted in Newsweek, 1977.
7. Cameron, Ibid.
8. Cameron, on Piers Morgan Tonight, 2012.
9. Cameron, Ibid.
10. Cameron, on his Facebook page, 2012.
11. Bryant, quoted by Associated Press, 1978.
12. Bryant, who technically didn’t say this—she sang it, on a 1977 single.

Notes:

Sorry if it was too easy. Sorry if it’s already been done. (I haven’t checked, but I suppose it’s quite possible I’m more than a few hours behind the news cycle.) Sorry if my bibliography format and/or terminology was off. And just sorry we’re still on the same talking points 35 years on.